I am a person in long term recovery. What that means to me is that I have not had a drink or drug since September 14th, 2015.
I was born in Walnut Creek California and was heavily involved in sports at a very young age. I was racing BMX bikes before pre-school started and sneaking onto my brother’s little league baseball team before I was old enough to play myself. Throughout my early childhood I shifted my focus to baseball and began playing travel baseball every weekend, traveling as far as China to play.
Upon entering high school, I was introduced to drinking and drugs and it began to play a pivotal role in my everyday life. I quit baseball a year into high school and began to focus on football where I excelled. By that time as well I was smoking pot nearly every day and drinking every weekend. I never went half ass on anything, on the field or “partying”. I was a blackout drinker from day one and that never changed. Going into my senior year of high school I had the opportunity to play at the next level, but drugs and alcohol weighed heavily on me and I decided to not play in college.
When I got to college things changed. My attitude changed and so did my actions. I was never the best student, but given the freedom of college and the endless supply of drugs and alcohol at any given time sent me down a road I would find nearly impossible to escape. I was introduced to oxycontin back in high school and never took it too seriously, but with my new lifestyle in college and being re-introduced to the feeling it gave me, I took off and ran with it. By August of 2013 I was completely addicted to it and had to use it every day, just to function. I was sick more times than not and it made me do things I never thought I would never do in order to maintain my habit. I pushed my loved ones away and became an outcast at school. I was surrounded by so many people at all times, but I had never felt so alone.
It only took me 6 months to hit my first of many “rock bottoms” and was intervened on by my family and friends. I went to my first rehab in March of 2014 and did not grasp the concept of my disease of addiction. I played it off like I was ok after my 30 day stay and did not think I needed to attend AA meetings because I was strong and could control my actions. I was wrong. It did not take more than 2 weeks for me to relapse and once again begin to hide my disease and use from my family by whom I was now living with at the time. My disease had me locked in and I could not do anything about it on my own. I had graduated from oxycontin to heroin by that time and for another 9 months suffered tremendously until I went to my second treatment center in January of 2015.
I moved to Colorado and went to Jaywalker Lodge, an all men’s treatment center and was surrounded by amazing people. However, it did not matter how many good people I was surrounded by I did not surrender and work a program. So shortly after my 3 month stay in treatment, I was high yet again. And this time it took me to living on the streets temporarily. It wasn’t until this that I knew I really had to change and seek help, not for anyone but myself. I was miserable, and I wanted to be better. I begged my parents to give me one last shot and on September 14th, 2015 I moved to Florida where I went to treatment one last time.
Upon arriving to Florida, I decided my way did not work and I needed to choose something different. So, I chose the 12-Steps. I got a sponsor and worked the steps immediately. I took any advice that people had for me and put it into action and began to feel the promises mentioned in the Big Book. It was then that I realized that by living by certain principles and helping others that life was now everything I have ever wanted.
I was welcomed into CrossFit HYPE and brought into their family, and after 6 months of working out there, was asked to be a part of the coaching staff in the fall of 2016. It was around that time to that someone very dear to my heart asked me what I wanted to do in life. My answer was to combine the two things I loved so much, fitness and to help other people who struggle with this disease of addiction and show them there a healthy alternative lifestyle beyond drugs and alcohol.
Temperance Training was born. With the help of this individual, my sponsor, and the owner of CrossFit HYPE we began our journey to help other people by providing free community based fitness classes. In April of 2017, we started with Sober Sundays. Every Sunday at 9am we hosted a CrossFit class, free of charge to anybody in sobriety. As time went on, people started to talk about it and it began to grow. With 40+ people showing up to CrossFit HYPE every Sunday at 9am for Sober Sundays and grabbing attention from people out of state we had to re-think what we should do. So we made Temperance Training a Non-Profit Organization and began hosting classes 6 days a week. We now have a massive following and it continues to grow and grow with each week.
I never thought any of this would be possible. Especially while in active addiction. I always knew right from wrong, but during my struggles it was unclear to me. When I finally decided to put down the drink and drug and dive into the 12-Steps and helping other individuals is when the miracle took place. The community I am now a part of is like having the biggest family you could ever imagine. There is nothing better than getting active and sweating out your worries. The high you get from working out does not even compare to my best day using, it is unlike anything you have ever tried before. I am so happy that I get to share my passion of fitness and the pursuit of living a happy and healthy life with the people in my life today.
I am a recovering addict and alcoholic
Feelings of not belonging, not being pretty enough, not being smart enough, and not being good enough plagued me as a youth and into my young adulthood. Where it came from, I don’t know because I had an amazing family who supported me in everything and I exceled at most of the things I participated in. These internal feelings along with life circumstances lead me to start self-medicating with drugs and alcohol at a young age. Through the use of these substances, I gained a false sense of self and achievement that carried me for some time, until it eventually bankrupt me of all self-respect and dignity due to the horrible things it led me to do – The worst of which was hurting and betraying the people who I loved the most. I stayed trapped in the ugly cycle of addiction for over a decade, until it left me merely a shell of a person. Through treatment and the continued support of my loved ones, I was able to get the help I needed and began my journey into recovery. Through vigorous work, I began to love myself and re-discover my passions in life for health and wellness. I got involved in a 12 step program, quit smoking, started eating healthy, and found CrossFit. I eventually began coaching and working in the treatment industry, allowing me to give back to those who are where I once was. Through these platforms, I have not only found empowerment in myself but I am blessed to be able to help empower others to do the same.
This journey is life long and is something that I cannot do alone. The parallels between the recovery community and the CrossFit community have been undeniable for me. Both involve getting groups of like-minded people together working towards a common goal. Both communities thrive on the “old timers” helping the “new comers.” Everyone is welcome, regardless of background or skill set. Both provide safe places where I can process whatever I’m going through and always leave me in a better mood. And both have provided me with an endless family that supports me and inspires me to be a better version of myself – mentally, physically, and spiritually.
My journey in recovery and fitness has afforded me a life beyond my wildest dreams. I have discovered myself and have overcome the feelings of insignificance I grew up with. Today, I am an empowered woman and am no longer a victim of my circumstances. My goal in life is to help others, especially women, find that in themselves, to overcome their battles and to live their absolute best lives.